It's all over

Yest I received a sms from someone….think is about 9pm something.....the content of the sms is that asking me to forget all that was happened before if I really dnt wish to think of it….the person said that if I keep thinking it will only hurt me…y not I use all my heart to love the 1 who deserve for my love????
When I read the msg,,, it was really hurt my feelings…I duno y suddenly the someone sent this kind of msg to me….may b is bcz someone saw the comment i posted in fb…..i was hoping that someone will console me instead of sending this msg…I need the care to move on in my life….to make sure that I m not lost….but it totally shows that someone is no longer have the feelings… I m disturbing their happy life…..someone have already put down the past and now having the future….
Yes….i got ur msg….and I knw what should I do….i m not going to disturb u anymore….wishing u a very happy life….just let me alone here…I will still survive without you….just wan to let u knw that it is not easy to forgot someone that is important….may b is not easy..but is impossible….but I will keep it in my heart forever….when I was in need…I can settle my own….dnt worry…………..may b u dnt even worry about me de………………………………..

proposal???? not me ~~~

Was writing this blog as at 11.18am….

Today my fren told me that he is going to propose to his gf….it was great when u heard a guy is going to propose to his beloved…feel happy for him….finally decided to propose….we were discussing about the proposal’s plan…the ring….when to propose….bla bla bla….then I start to imaging my proposal…wahahaha….when uncle will propose??? How’s he going to propose??how big is the diamond?? What would be my response??? Wahahhaa…imaging imaging imaging….hehehe…

Then suddenly I questioned my fren…did his ex knw he is going to propose to current gf?? What would be her feelings??? Even though they are only friend now…but I believe the girl might have some sad feelings….then my fren throw the question back to me…what would be my feeling if ur ex getting marry??? The first thing appear in my mind is that for sure I will feel sad….but what would be the degree of the sadness??? i duno….may b light…may b moderate or even severe??????? If really severe, then how m I going to stay survive??? When the time comes…then I will knw………..

But I really hope that it will not so soon…..

FAN JIAN

It has been a long time I did not update my blog…not to say very busy…just feel abit lazy to express out my feelings when the one u wish can care of you does not response or take any action….but choose to escape from you !!!!
Was writing this blog at 11.13am…during office hours….
Today is the 2nd week of 2nd day I reporting to my new employer….was decided to let this new employer to ‘buy’ me over from old company….just feel like I m valuable to this society…wahahha….
Was too free in the office….nth that we can do except keep on reading the operation manuals….system ID not up…pc yet to configure with necessary system…training yet to be started…this whole November would be like having honey moon…everyday report to office at 8.30am and do nth….then counting down to go bec at 5.30pm….
Sometimes is good to have this kind of life cz u need not to process cases…headache with complicated issues… rushing to hit daily target….but u still get the salary on time…sound good rite??? However, when u starting to get bored…then it become a problem where u keep on looking something to do….this called FAN JIAN….
When u r free…u will keep on thinking something non-sense….something which u should have let go and forget about it….something that does not worth for your attention…something that dnt even care of you…something that lie to you…something that does not keep their promise…something that look for you when only they are free but leave you behind when they have some other people to accompany…see…I can list down alots…but….y??? u stil keep the hope that something will come back to you ??? y u still awaiting for something to look for you even though u knw they wnt stop by permanently in you life??? There are only 1 word can describe it…you are FAN JIAN lor….
I have actually took the effort to ignore something…I deleted all that related to that…I’ve tried to be harder to just let it go and forget about it….but y something come back to you again and you are not enuf hard to ignore for the 2nd times??? You’ve choose to accept something that going to hurt you again…now you getting hurt when u saw something that you are not suppose to see!!! u’re hurt when u saw that it actually so perfect and stable….u are hopeless de…even though you expected…but it comes to reality that you need to accept it…it seem to be so tough….and it will takes you a long time to let it go…
I was in the middle of planning to ignore and delete again….but ….i m scare!!! I scare when I really delete it…it’s gonna be the real end which I dnt wan it happen so soon….i knw it doesn’t belong to me…I knw it wnt come bac to me again….i knw I should have accept the arrangement by lord…but…….it stil hard for me to do so………I m stil………but………..